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Anonymous Warrior

I have a warrior who wishes to remain anonymous. I got this from her late last night, as she said this particular incident has been weighing on her mind a lot recently. Can we show her some support?

I have lived a life full of abuse of all types. My first memory is of my father assaulting my mother, shoving her into the refrigerator as a glass serving bowl falls and shatters across the kitchen floor. But tonight I sit staring out of my window, I see the streetlight near my home and the neighborhood covered in snow. It should be peaceful, but I keep reliving a traumatic event from last winter instead. I was home and had just gotten my children to sleep. I was anxiously awaiting my husband to get home, he wasn't supposed to be gone this late. I decided to just lay down anyway and ask him about it in the morning. I was nearly asleep when I heard a vehicle pulling in the drive. A door slams. Loud, angry, yelling is what I hear. It's my husband and his best friend. They have clearly been drinking. The following events, much of which I left out for the sake of time, happened over approximately two hours. His friend is trying to fight him, my husband is trying to explain that what he's upset about made no sense, but his friend continues to blame him anyway. l step in, trying to calm them both down. My husband goes inside (I was in the garage doorway, the friend just outside the garage), he then goes to the bathroom and begins vomiting from the drinking, he is there the rest of the night. His friend continues to get more and more upset as I am trying desperately to keep him outside and away from my children. He is threatening to physically attack my husband and trying to get past me. I am trying to calm him to no avail. I call his wife, who is home with their baby. She tries to talk to him but he refuses, I follow him to his truck, trying to hand him the phone, he kicks the door at me, very nearly hitting me. She says she will try to get the baby together and find her keys. The friend angrily walks away down the road, screaming and kicking my mailbox, falling into a snowbank and so on. I stand there, freezing cold at this point as it is February and we were in a polar vortex. I had no winter gear on, but I HAD to keep my babies safe. I am trying to text his wife to let her know which way he went when he returns, angrier than before. I am getting really scared, looking to all my neighbors, praying to see a light, praying someone is calling 911. I know if I do, I may not be alive by the time they find me. He is belligerent, screaming, trying to get inside, screaming that he'll kill him. He starts kicking our truck. I watch helplessly as he grabs a snow shovel and starts hitting our truck and then just starts heaving it over his head and smashing it onto the concrete driveway. I am in tears, begging him to stop, I can't feel my toes, I try to tell him his wife is coming, try to get him to call her. At this point he starts making a run for the door to get inside. All I can think of is my babies as I rush in front of him. He tackles me into my garage door( the car port), tangling his fist in a Christmas decoration as we fall to the cement. I am screaming, kicking, and shoving at him. Thank God he tangled his fist. I don't know what would've happened to me otherwise. I scramble from beneath him and get up as he tears a piece of the small window framing from the door. He starts yelling again and starts to walk down the road. I pray it's over. Once he is around the corner, I cower in my garage, out of sight. I dial 911, I frantically give my address, as I try to say in a whisper what's happening, my phone dies. I feel my gut drop. Will they find my house? Did he hear me? Am I going to die tonight? I hear his angry yelling again. He's back. This time he dropped his phone somewhere and is hell bent that I have something to do with it. I am scared for my life. I want to just lock the door, but then if he goes for the front one, it doesn't lock. That is close to my babies. I have to keep him away from them at all costs. His wife texts that she is coming. I tell him she is on her way. I'm begging him to calm down, to think of their baby, of my children. He screams to let the cops come get him. After stumbling into the snowbank again, he walks down the street. I decide I need to get my truck going, get it warm, and rush my children out of there. As I am starting the truck, I turn to see two things. A state police cruiser pulling in, and my attacker in the car with his wife driving by my house. He was coming back. Thank God they finally came. Thank God. I am shaking, both from fear and the cold. I can't feel my extremities. The officers take me inside to get the story. They search my property for him. I cry and shake, telling him if he hears me talking to them, I would be in a lot of trouble. I don't want to press charges or give a name. I just want to get my kids and myself safely away. As I am talking, two more officers walked in the door that I wasn't expecting and I swear to God I almost had a heart attack on the spot. I thought he came back. They noted my terrified face. They checked me for serious injuries, thankfully I had nothing too bad. I was finally able to get my kids in the truck safely and leave. I can't be more thankful for those officers. I know this incident is just one thing, but I will be honest in telling you that it truly traumatized me. I spent two hours in subzero temperatures fighting off a grown man to protect my babies. I'm 5'0, so it was not easy for me. I received very little sympathy/support for that night, basically being told to get the fuck over it. I still see this man often, and he has apologized and is usually fine, but I can't shake this incident. I'm hoping that sharing it here will give me some release from that mental jail cell. I hope that I can look out at a snowy night and see peace instead of a fight for my life. Please don't be like me. Please stand up for yourself and keep toxic people away from you. I know I will get there, someday. Until then, I pray these people never read this post. If they do, please know I haven't written this to upset, alienate, or incriminate anyone. I have real love for your family, but I needed to release this. It has never stopped hurting me, even after the bruises healed.

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