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I am not sure how popular of an opinion this will be, but I truly believe that when someone walks away, or attempts to walk away, from an abusive relationship, there is a detox stage.

The stage where you are trying to find yourself. The stage where you are trying to find a way out of the fog that you have gotten into. The stage where you still cry yourself to sleep, or randomly find yourself feeling lost. The stage where you feel like your whole life has shattered, and yet no matter how mean your abuser was, you want to go back. You want to go back out of how "comfortable" the relationship was. The comfort was clearly not from your abuser being nice, but the comfort of knowing that it was a relationship that you didn't have to restart in. The comfort that it was a relationship where you already had given your all to someone and you didn't want to restart with someone else. You are stuck feeling like no one will ever love you. You are stuck feeling like you have no other options. This is the stage where you are so lonely that you struggle to not pick up your phone and send a quick text, or look at their social media pages to see if they may passively be posting that they are lonely too. This is the stage where you miss the familiarity, even if it was dangerous and toxic.

You are literally detoxing a person from your life. This does NOT mean that you are a bad person. This does NOT mean that there is something wrong with you. This means that you put every essence of who you are as a person into something, and it was broken. The illusion of what you thought your life would look like was destroyed and all that you want is for the person who destroyed it, to fix it.

The detox stage is one of the most undetermined stages, in my opinion. It can last a few weeks, all the way up to years, depending on your mentality and where you are at with your process. Just know that you are not alone. Just know that going back, because you are struggling during this phase, is NOT the option you should choose. Choose yourself over the abusive relationship. Continue to choose yourself, until the loneliness is gone and you find yourself sitting there one day, fully comfortable with being alone and just by yourself. That day will come. Just give it time.

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