Last night I had a dream about our abuser. Typically, if I have dreams about him, it is memories turned into nightmares. Last night was different though. Last night my dream was quick. In my dream, my sister Zarina, was my lawyer and we had to go to a hearing. I did not recognize the court room or anything about the place we were at.
I walked into this room and my sister told me that, "we got this in the bag."
My response: "He will never admit to violating or anything. He can't even acknowledge all the damage he did."
I then walked out. I said I couldn't be present for the court proceedings. Shortly after, my sister Zarina walked out and said that he plead guilty for violations and for everything he had done. He had actually apologized.
I think that is one big thing that always gets me, and maybe that is why it was something I randomly dreamed about. I never understand how someone can pretend like they did nothing. I never understand how someone cannot take responsibility for what they did and the harm they caused. And it isn't like these are small things that happened, but somehow they are still not his fault and he will never take responsibility.
Very odd dream. But it was simply that. A dream. No abuser ever actually admits to what they did and does a heartfelt apology and looks for forgiveness. To them, it was just another day of their life, not an imprint on their victims minds and lives that they forever have to live with.